Get all 20 stage name releases available on Bandcamp and save 60%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of live at aol fest 08/13/23, happiest day, duster / as_oilrig, LIVE AT AOL MUSIC FESTIVAL 08/07/2022, Θ (cont.), Collection Of Lost Songs (rarities vol. 1), Collection of Found Songs, Blue Glow (△'s Song), and 12 more.
1. |
freedom of form
03:06
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i know that we've gathered expression of presence
in the nights and days gone by
i have to be fair, we aren't halfway there
to make me feel more like I
to feel, to be tangible
to be real, to feel actual
until all is said and done and you
forget you ever were
something else
make me someone else
i don't wanna live like this
if life is the norm, then freedom of form should exist
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2. |
duster
02:27
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it was 3 am
and i was trying as hard as i've usually been (not at all)
did as much as i can
went to bed and was back where i was when i started to fall
i make so much space i use
trying to make sense of why i have had to postpone
i have some free time but it's
always only me, they have lives to go through (i'm alone)
i'm there for the show but i'm
always left out of the afterparty
back then i was a dick but now
i've got no chances to say i'm sorry
he might yell 'shut up' yet my
friends all say that i speak too softly
and they want me to fuck but it's
not my fault that my eyes aren't starry
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3. |
as_oilrig
04:10
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summoned by the influence of gold beneath the waves
greed called into fruition by the same deceitful knaves
who tried pursuit of capital
to distract them from governing
sketched monsters on the map because
we found their presence comforting
reminds us not to fear unknowns
cause we can look away and all
but some don't have that luxury
and they decide to glaze over
and i am patient in belief
above all things
and i am courteous,
act kindly to all beings
and i am terrified
of what the long road brings
and i am lost within the long dream
i am lost within
and i am patient in belief
above all things
and i am courteous,
act kindly to all beings
and i am terrified
of what the long road brings
and i am lost within the long dream
i am lost within the long dream
(i am lost within the long dream, i am lost within the long dream, i am lost within the long dream, i am lost within the long dream)
(summoned by the influence of gold beneath the waves
greed called into fruition by the same deceitful knaves
who tried pursuit of capital to distract them from governing
sketched monsters on the map because we found their presence comforting)
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4. |
skinbag
02:40
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flakes of glass
and sand and mass
of earth and clay
that mold to yield
a form confined
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5. |
evolutionary spite
02:44
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thousands of minds
compete for a body
it bothers me
it bothers me
hundreds of hearts
welled up inside me
oh, can't you see
oh, can't you see?
(thousands of minds
compete for a body
it bothers me
it bothers me
hundreds of hearts
welled up inside me
oh, can't you see
oh, can't you see?)
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6. |
mindcloak
04:34
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(the war drags on and the profiteers are raking in the cash.
the arms dealers in the west, the gas and oil oligarchs in the east, west, and middle east, and the climate catastrophe has been all but forgotten.)
i sold my soul
to kill the void
a dash of shrooms
to feel the noise
i brought myself
to god knows where
and from afar
was standing there
(you don't need to worry about a nuclear war, the earth will burn slowly but surely. humans are real idiots, aren't they? they keep ruining it over and over again.)
i told myself
don't be afraid
it's better if
i'm left unnamed
my gender is
a thousand things
and labels are
just thumbtacks and red strings
(meanwhile, mark galliocchi, a special watcher of the russian political scene tells us all about the idelogue nikolai patrushev, the most dangerous man in russia.)
it would validate me
to hold me in your arms
(of course, another fine episode of suds is at the end of the hour, with all the music today provided by nickel creek, an americana trio...)
it would validate me
to hold me in your arms
...enjoy, stay safe, stay healthy, i'll talk to you again later.
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7. |
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i try not to have nothing
but i'm crushed in hydraulic press
i try to get over burnout
but i can't, i'm too depressed
won't get better by wishing
but i hope the light i see is no lens flare
i want to hide behind something
i just wish it wasnt so dirty back there
i
wish i didn't
didn't have to
hide
from a country
they all think that
i
shouldn't be a
shouldn't be
alive
wish that i would
wish that i would die
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8. |
happiest day (interlude)
02:05
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9. |
laika's ideas
01:43
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i wonder what the lights are
when i perk my head up high
i wonder why the sun goes down
and fireflies fill the sky
and i’ve grown older now
spent most my life outdoors
and the humans had to bring me inside
and bring me off the floor
soaring through the snow
approaching the sun
there’s thousands of minds up here
there’s thousands of hearts
and i’ve caught glimpses of
the fireflies that dart
ive learned now what the lights are
can’t force my head up high
i’ve found out where i’m going now
there’s a new light in the sky
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10. |
sammy
08:16
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twelve years old
was fourteen years ago
and now he's sitting up upon his chair
thought of his younger self
who hated everyone else
and wallowed in a feeling he can't share
he wanted to be tough
didn't know he was growing up
suppose that he was going through something too
he rolled the videos
where he said everything goes
and wept a million tears, said "i lost you"
guilty mind in debt
all the friends that he had left
and all the friends who heard and left him back
clings to other minds
otherwise he wilts and dies
confounded by the common sense he lacked
wanted to make love
didn't know he was up above
and let his inner demons get the best
and just a year from then
he started spiraling again
a year ago his heart abandoned
his empty chest
i brought myself up to my feet from the pool of vomit that had foamed from my mouth and drooled onto the dirty leaf covered sidewalk and i hobbled my way inside
the sign on the outside of the brightly colored tent read "great wisdom for five cents"
i stumbled and fell into the chair where my eyes were greeted by a young adult wearing a dark circular disc over its face
behind it, a guitar with many stickers fading its surface and several bags that had clearly seen months of wear
"welcome," it said. "are you here for wisdom?"
i replied, "i am here for nothing but i feel the will of something greater than myself that has brought me here for wisdom"
i dropped a nickel in the tin can in front of me and a chunky metallic impact rang
"oh, a visionary" it replied. "let us see this greater will"
i could not see its eyes, but from behind its mask i could feel it staring at me as the hair on my back raised from some sort of spectral tendrils or some unnatural force
it made me feel uncomfortable
from nowhere, "bad news," it said, "you are a man in a song and nothing more"
"what?" i replied."what do you mean? i'm sorry, what do you mean?"
it uncovered its mask to reveal-
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11. |
enough and too much
06:17
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a sudden realization
that i could have saved her life
instead of saying goodnight
at the end of her life
because a few da- few days later
i tried to save her
but it was too late
cause she already died
so i wrote my whole album
in efforts to somehow
reverse things
and half the tracks were improvised
through my glassy eyes
as i tried to convey
anything
anything at all
anything
oh i felt so small
i remember
that i had some of the last footage of your life
and i uploaded it to youtube
only a few weeks before it happened
and your life was no more
and i settled the score
with my own mind
i wanted to go and just
i wanted
i wanted to just scream
shove high frequency noises in my ears
and seclude myself
from everything and everyone
i sat in my room
and i just
stared at the ceiling
and the wall sometimes
i wanted to just die
just then and there drop dead
for no one else to find
but i realized
she was one step ahead
and i'd hurt sometimes
but
i'm alone
in the world
and i've got
no home
to come back to
and i've got nowhere to run to
i wish you were there to run to
i wish i was in toronto
i wish i was somewhere else
and i know
and i know
and i know
you're somewhere else on your own
and i know
and i hope
oh, i hope
riley
can you hear me
cause i'm sorry
i couldn't be of use
and riley
if you hear me
please come up here
please come turn the light on
riley
hope you're with me
i lost ari
and i hope she's with you
riley
can you hear me
it might sound cheesy
but i hope she's there
with you
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12. |
happiest day
13:27
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got boots on the ground but my head's in a nightmare
i'm trying to wake myself up
a pinch on the cheek to a thorn in my side
there is nothing for me to disrupt
cause your happiest day was the day that you died
oh your happiest day was the day that you died
oh, i
oh, i
hope that it's true cause you both had me tired
i wanted a coma myself
the rest of your life that that needle prevented
i hope that you avoided hell
cause your happiest day was the day that you died
oh your happiest day was the day that you died
oh, i
oh, i
i wonder if your euthanasia was worth it
i wonder if i should have cried
i hope that the poison in your blood was painless
in the few minutes before you died
was too sick for school so i stayed in bed sleeping
as the needle plunged into your throat
as i awoke i know i felt you missing
and somberly took up an oath
i hope your happiest day was the day that you died
your happiest day for the end of your life
your happiest day was the day that you died
oh, i
i'm understandable
wish i was tangible
lives confiscated from
this mortal coil
i had my peace of mind
in confidence that i'm
not wasting time
in this plane of existence
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13. |
post-human ideas
03:35
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thousands of minds
compete for a body
it bothers me
it bothers me
hundreds of hearts
welled up inside me
oh, can't you see
oh, can't you see
i know that you
saw me in a different
body
a body
my serenade
spoke to you softly
as you breathed
as you breathed
but your breaths came to halt
as you rise and you fall
synchronized with my breathing
breathing your life into me
i hope that you know
as you play in the snow
to look down at my human
it's lower than you now
buried six feet underground
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